Christmas...

Okay it's about time I update this bad boy. Truth be told, I really haven't had the time or desire to post anything 'til now.

Earlier this month, I spent a week at home visiting the famdamily. Actually, it feels inaccurate to call it home, it's really my dads house. Um, correction again, it's now my parents house. You see, they got back together this summer.

I visited my mother last in August, in Delaware. My dad lives in Texas and my parents have been happily separated for 8 years. So imagine my shock when mom calls me later that month and informs me that she and the kiddos are going to move to Texas in 2 weeks (because she doesn't want them to miss much school). By September, she had moved. So I go to "my dads house" where my entire family now resides, and they show me the home they just purchased together, which BTW is absolutely beautiful. It was a very sweet, albeit bizarre visit. I'm shocked. Every night eating dinner with my entire family, watching football with my dad while mom baked cookies in the kitchen. Dad's telling me he's going to buy a golden retriever. WTH??? It was too damn weird!!! Of course, to top it all off, I was treated like a celebrity the entire time, I guess just because they missed me. But thats not my parents, especially not my dad. With him, everybody's a dumb-ass, nobody can do anything right, and every word that comes from his mouth is dripping with sarcasm and disdain. Now I won't say he was pleasant, but you could tell he was definitely on his best behavior. Trying to be polite or something.

So I returned to cold dark Alaska on the 13th of December and I've since been living in a world of nostalgia. All that perfection and special treatment I was exposed to, has left me feeling more alone than ever. I don't do very well with loneliness, it's the absolute worst feeling ever. I'm from a family with 12 children. I'm going to let that sink in for a sec… 12 kids. I have never been alone in my entire life, I thrive in chaos. Needless to say, as "delightful" as it's been these past few months without anybody, I'm getting kind of sick of just hanging out with myself.

So I threw my pity party (attendance- one, theme- why me, food- cookies, and drinks- Pinot Noir) on Dec 23rd, and have been feeling better ever since. Although Christmas has not been my friend this year, I did have a great time with some friends and hope to be fully recovered by new Years.

Also worth mentioning, Thanksgiving was spent with family in Fairbanks. It was cold as hell (haha laugh at the irony) but otherwise a really nice visit. I was shocked at how much my nieces have grown in the past 6 months. Seriously, the little one went from baby to toddler, and the big one went from toddler to kid. Sadly, I did not see any Northern Lights this time.

I also bought our tickets and reserved the hotel for O'ahu in April. Brad bought me P90X for Christmas, which I just started and so far it seriously sucks. I tease him, saying he's just worried about me gaining winter weight, but the truth is, I'm excited. It's like a 90 day count down that we are both doing, and by the time we finish he will be home. And we'll both be super hot for Hawaii!! Too shallow? Oh well, still true ;)

And I'll try to update this thing more often. I accidentally left my camera in Fairbanks, so no pictures for a while.

To ALL who have served, thank you.

To all Soldiers, Airmen, Sailers, and Marines who selflessly serve our nation everyday, and to the all family members standing behind them, thank you. It takes discipline, courage, dedication, and honor to do what you do everyday. All of you, by your service and sacrifices, have made America free.

A little update on this weekend

Friday:

I went to this fancy-shmancy dinner party for the Aviation Safety Foundation (or something like that, I don't really remember what it was actually called) at the Marriot. A friend of a friend helped organize it so she invited us as her guests. It was open-bar, free dinner, and gave us an excuse to dress up. Plus, I had the most adorable date, Black. The evening was mostly Senators and Governor Parnell speaking on the importance of aviation safety. It was in remembrance of Ted Stevens (a little ironic considering he died in a plane crash).

Saturday:

Shopping-spree with Winter. Let me just say, when it comes to shopping, I am usually a boy about it. I go into the store for something I need, I buy it and I get out. Lately, I have been a girl… I can shop for hours. And I have, probably once a pay period since Brad has been gone. Sadly, I must admit I've been doing a little online shopping too. I've been making the shopaholic excuses too, such as "I needed that", and "some of it's Christmas presents", and "it was on sale", and so on.

Brad and I are amazing in the fact that we really don't fight about money. Ever. It's the one thing we haven't had a disagreement on. This morning, he randomly asked me, "what have you been spending all our money on?" My award winning answer… "I dunno." So he asked why I've been shopping so much and I honestly told him because it's therapeutic and as long as I'm paying the bills and putting some money in savings, I don't see why I shouldn't. And he said "okay." I'm so lucky. He really is sooo wonderful, and not just because of the shopping thing (seriously if it bothered him, I would stop or at least cut back) but because of everything. He is the the man I've always wanted, he gives me the strength I've always needed, and he's the voice of reason when - as usual- Im not. He makes me laugh everyday (which excellent for the abs btw). And I can't believe God played such a dirty trick on him as to stick him with me…

Lol, sorry for the grossness but I'm afraid it will only get worse the longer he's gone… If you're still reading this and not vomiting uncontrollably, I will continue. So after shopping with Winter, we went back to her place to do the scary movie night thing. I had originally made plans to go out with Black, but I cancelled. I'm really such a bum… The thought of putting on a costume, doing my hair and makeup, and going downtown barhopping just sounded so exhausting to me. So I flaked out on her. Then Winter and I realized what old ladies we were being and decided okay, we will put on a costume and go to this little bar in Eagle river, and if we really get into the partying spirit, we will then go downtown. We dressed as the Daisy Duke girls (I was the original, she was Jessica Simpson) and we went out. We didn't end up going downtown but we had a good time. I will post pictures when she emails them to me. If they are embarrassing, sorry guys, I will just email them to Brad.

Sunday:

Recovered from Saturday night. Then made dinner for myself and 6 friends, I was reminded how long its been since I made dinner. The food was fine but I cut myself twice and burned myself. Then we watched Forest Gump and handed out halloween candy. Went to bed.

What am I supposed to write about???

It all started when I deleted my stupid facebook account (stalker, long story). I really only used it to talk to Brad anyways since he's deployed. So being the "all or nothing" girl I am, I deleted the crap out of that account instead of simply blocking the dude... I don't feel bad though, I didn't really like it.

Then I remembered the blog. Brad had suggested a year ago I start a blog to keep our family/friends updated. Makes perfect sense right? We're newlyweds living in Alaska and it'd be nice (not to mention polite) to keep everyone in the loop... Well no offense friends/family but I'm kind of reclusive. I've improved somewhat; I carry my cell with me almost all the time now and I've started checking my email, but I'm still really bad at "staying in touch". Anywho, I did as he suggested... half assed. A post consisted of picture and 1 or 2 sentences next to it. Actually, I think I made Brad do all the updating, and I did it when he told me to. Point is.... epic fail on my part. Sorry people.

Brad likes to say I never fully commit to anything 'til it's MY idea Well now the blog is my idea. So I decide to do it, I log in, and blank.

What am I supposed to write about???

So I started perusing other peoples blogs for some inspiration I guess. It seems like most people fall into the category of artsy-fartsy (photographers, cardmakers etc), moms/housewives who use blogging to share pictures of their kids and family stuff, and advertisers. I haven't exactly found my niche yet. I might say I want to post my opinions, but I don't have opinions on anything important; none worth sharing anyways. I don't really do anything either. Especially with Brad gone. I'm boring. And I'm lazy, I don't even enjoy writing.

When I really think about this, I realize I have no sense of organization or purpose in any aspect of my life; I am the definition of carefree. I don't live my life based on a theme, so why would I expect my blog to be any different? This is going to be the most random collection of thoughts and pictures but it will hopefully be a fairly accurate representation of who I am.